The I AM PREGNANT Sign

I want a sign. Not a t-shirt, a sign, so I can wear it every day without adding to my laundry pile. The sign should say, "I AM PREGNANT."

This time before showing is rough and not only because of all of the symptoms that come along with the first trimester. People do not know I am pregnant because 1) I am not telling them yet and 2) I do not look pregnant. This creates many additional problems that could be avoided with the sign.

Scenario - Hallway outside of my office. Me gunning for the closest restroom (again). A co-worker says, "Hi," I respond, and then... he stops. I am trying with all of my might not to do the pee-pee dance in front of him as I feel that is unladylike, unadultlike, and unprofessional. He just will not stop chatting. I nod and smile and contribute as little as possible in a hope to end this what would otherwise be a pleasant conversation with a really nice guy. See? If I had my "I AM PREGNANT" sign, he would just move on out of the way as he sees me barrelling down the hall. No sign, no understanding.

Scenario - Public transportation. Me hoping desperately for a seat so I can relax - and maybe catch some much needed shut-eye - on the way home. A young guy pretty much shoves me aside to get the last open seat and continues to jam out to his iPod. I seriously consider standing over him and "accidentally" letting my bag smack him with each stop and go. See? If I had my "I AM PREGNANT" sign, I at least like to think that someone would have given me a seat. I don't have hope for the shover, but someone on that train has to be civil. No sign, no seat.

Scenario - Grocery store. Me piling my cart full of the favorite food of the moment. Me heading to the checkout line and getting all kinds of strange looks for the 10 packages of string cheese. What is so strange about that? Lots of people stop at the grocery store to buy string cheese. Ten packages. Nothing else. Okay, maybe not. See? If I had my "I AM PREGNANT" sign, people might snicker, but they would at least spare me the crazy looks.

Okay, so this great sign has one problem. It would tell the world I am pregnant and my family does not even know yet. Guess there is a reason (other than biology) that the bump does not show until around tri #2.