I want to tell!

Oooh. I want to tell people about baby so badly! I decided long ago (before I got the BFP) that I did not want people to know until after the first trimester had ended. I decided that even more definitely after getting the BFP. We have told our parents and siblings and two close friends, but have otherwise kept our mouths shut. It is getting really hard.

From taking time off of work to visit daycare centers (we live in a big city, so need to be on waiting lists and we are already behind) to feeling sick and tired to being so excited, it is really difficult keeping this wonderful secret!

One of my best friends is coming to town this weekend. I would have told her by now, but decided to wait to tell her in person since I knew she was coming for a visit. I am excited to get to spread the news to one more person. DH asked last night how I plan to tell her. I am pretty sure I am just going with, "I'm pregnant," or something very similar. We have done the cute presentations with our families, so I am ready to just start blurting it!

First Neurotic Moment (of many, I'm sure)

Okay. So, I found out that I am pregnant on Sunday. On Saturday night, I went out to eat with DH and my parents. After debating between the rockfish and sea bass, I chose the sea bass because it was prepared "Hong Kong Style" and sounded yummy. It was.

Fast forward to Sunday. I get the BFP and (of course) go to thebump.com 1st Trimester message board. There I found a posting titled, "List of things not to eat?" Of course, when I clicked on the link within one of the responses, sea bass is on the list of foods to avoid due to high levels of mercury.

This morning (Monday), I call the restaurant that had the nerve to serve me the very sea bass I had ordered. I spoke with a manager who told me that it was wild caught sea bass from Chile and that the portions are 4-5 ounces. With that knowledge, I called the American Pregnancy Association, who told me that sea bass is not on the avoid list, but just on a moderation list that states no more than 3 servings of 6 ounces per month. They assured me that I (and baby) will be just fine.

I just may never eat fish (or at least sea bass) again.

Babymamawannabe is a babymamagonnabe

Okay, so evaporation lines may be the devil, but that may not be what I saw after all.

BFP this morning... three of them actually. I tested once, saw a line, but DH did not think it was "distinct." Took a second, still not enough proof. Of course, when he's doubting, I'm doubting, because I was not sure what to think either. So, I went to the store and bought a digital - "YES+". I am pregnant. HOLY CRAPOLA.

So, I will be calling the doc tomorrow morning to schedule my first appointment. So far, I have already freaked out a little, gotten dizzy, cried, laughed, hugged, kissed, reassured, been reassured. You get the idea.

This is crazy stuff.

We conceived the weekend of MLK, Jr. Day and Inauguration Day. We left town to get away from the millions who were visiting our city for the historic event. Guess that did it.

Stick, baby, stick!!!

Evaporation Lines are the Devil

So, I have been feeling like total crap of late. Nauseas (though that's not really an uncommon thing for me), ridiculously awful cramps, shooting uterine pains, headaches, etc., you get it. I thought that, perhaps, I was going to be one of those lucky people who got pregnant right out of the TTC gate.

Well, yesterday, I POAS and got a BFN. Boo. I was disappointed and I think DH was, too. He is still very freaked about the idea of being a dad, but I saw in his eyes that he was sad and that he was surprised he was sad.

So, last night, I did what I knew I should not do. I dug the little test out of the trash and, what do you know, but there is a faint second line there. I stared at it. I mean really stared at it. I pretty much discarded the test immediately after the default line showed and did not really look that closely. "Maybe," I thought, "This faint line was my BFP, therefore overturning my BFN." And maybe not. I knew intellectually that I needed to wrap it back up and throw it back in the circular file, but I just kept staring at it.

I then ran into the office and hopped online, looking for even one iota of evidence that my evaporation line (I knew it was an evaporation line) was really a BFP. The whole time I was Googling, I was telling myself that I needed to give up, wait a few days, and POAS again. That is, after all, the only way I am actually going to know.

But I know. Harumph. Well, my BBT should come in the mail by early next week. Let the charting begin.