Told the boss

I am such a chicken. I had no idea how much of a chicken I am.

I decided that yesterday was the day to tell the boss of our little miracle in development. I was 13 weeks, 3 days, and could not find a reason not to go ahead and share the news. Part of me wanted to just let me belly speak for itself, but since I am not even close to showing yet, decided my mouth should instead do the work.

I planned to tell her first thing in the morning. Didn't tell her until 3:30 in the afternoon. I am such a chicken. I kept gearing up and then chickening out. I called DH, who asked what I was afraid she would do, and I could only answer the truth, "Nothing. She will probably be really happy for me." So why the fear? I have no idea.

I ended up in her office at 3:30 and it went something like this: "Boss, I have never done this before and don't really know how, so I am just going to say it. I am pregnant." She said she was happy for me, asked how much time I would likely want to take off (don't know - at least 12 weeks), and we discussed how we would fill my job in my absence.

So, that's done. One more checklist item complete. 6 months and 1 day until the due date!

Tipping Point

I wanna be a baby mama. Period.

After about a year-and-a-half of humming and hawing. It's true. I want to get pregnant, give birth, lose sleep, and raise a miserable teenager who will probably hate me (at least sometimes). I have reached the tipping point.

What is the tipping point when it comes to having a baby, you ask? The day you realize that, no matter how scared you are to have a baby, you are more scared that you never will. We have the financial means, steady jobs, a single family home, and supportive family and friends. It's time.

Yeah, so periods. I don't want those to come anymore. Okay, well, I want it to be able to come, but only so I know I am able to have it. So, this is what I want right now, in this order:

1) A period of appropriate flow and length.

2) To be ovulating.

3) A trackable cycle so I can tell when I ovulate.

4) To get pregnant.

Is that so much to ask? I guess time will tell. I have waited until the age of 30 to begin to try to conceive and did not really know what I was getting myself into when I started. It is a heck of a complicated process.

Even if all of the stars align, I ovulate, and DH and I happen to have sex around the time of ovulation, there is only a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant! Seriously? Geez!

Here goes nothing...