A working babymamagonnabe in awe

This whole experience is truly amazing. There is a little person growing inside of me. I just repeat that to myself over and over again and I think our little one is already making me a better person. I start to get stressed and I think of the little one and try to calm down. The smile that inevitably crosses my face instantly enhances my mood. I get irritated with some other driver in traffic and same thing. Baby just makes other things in life seem so insignificant. DH and I have made a life (with God's help, of course) and we are going to be parents. I know that being a mom will be the most important job I have ever held.

Work. The idea of balancing work and family gets a little more complicated when I think of baby. I am very worried about being a good enough mom and still performing well at work. Last night was a late work night and I was hungry and exhausted. I just wanted to go home and eat and sleep, but I was stuck. I was in tears as I left the building because I was thinking, "How am I going to be a good mom when I do not know if I will be able to leave work on time on any given day?"

After talking it all over with DH upon my arrival home, though, I realized that I will make it work because I will also have him to help. I do not have to do it all, at least not all of the time. I also think I am overreacting to the whole thing because I am still hyper-emotional right now. The first ultrasound is in two days. We cannot wait to see the picture of our growing baby and I just know that sight will give me some perspective.

Hungry, Hungry, (not yet) Hippo

I am hungry. Constantly ravenous. Scavenging for food. Most odd of all, I do not want chocolate. I mean, I have no desire for the delicious cocoa bean in any form at all. Before one week ago, I was a chocolate addict. Seriously. Reese could go out of business. My grocery store could find itself with more stock that it can possibly sell.

I just finished eating my lunch. Well, I call it my lunch, even though it was actually my third meal of the day. I had leftovers from dinner last night - homemade rotini n' cheese with ground turkey and peas. I am hungry. I am really trying to figure out where I can get something that is yummy and healthy. I will figure it out or getting any more work done will be impossible.

DH called right as I was heating my lunch. We chatted for a bit until I heard a "pop" come from the microwave. I quickly said, "Hold on!" and dropped the phone so I could be sure my food had not exploded. Whew. It is fully in tact. I told him my lunch was ready and he said, "Go eat. You need to eat. You're eating for two now."

He thinks that if we both keep throwing cliche statements at one another, we will eventually believe that this is all really happening. I started writing in the baby journal last night, so I would think it would be sinking in, but I'm not sure it is. I think I thought I would go, body and mind, from not pregnant to pregnant, indisputably. It just does not work that way.