If I had a crystal ball...

I found myself wondering last night what moment I would want to see in baby's life if I had a crystal ball (that would, for some reason, only work once). I thought it would be nice to see the moment baby is born with a clock in the picture so I can know how long labor will last once I start. That would be a waste, though. I also thought about wanting to see the moment my child makes a really bad decision so I could be ready to intervene when the time comes, but I want my child to make mistakes so he or she can learn from them. So, that would be a waste, too.

I have decided this: I would like to see the moment of my child's life that happens after I am no longer of this earth when he or she is the happiest. I do believe that my loved ones who have passed on watch over me and that they will also watch over my child, but I would love to see that moment now. To know that, no matter what I do or do not do as a parent, my child will experience that bliss in the future. This crystal ball view is obviously not going to happen, but the thought of it calms me for some reason.

In hindsight, I realize that no part of me thought about focusing on whether the child is a girl or a boy in my future seeing. That also calms me a bit. I have consistently said that I do not care whether we have a boy or a girl, as long as he or she is healthy. Guess I am not just fooling myself. I really do feel that way.

On another note, my day-by-day calendar from the baby's perspective came in the mail yesterday. I read this morning's entry and got so excited - baby is the size of a pea today. The calendar entry said he or she is now 10,000 times the size he or she was at conception. Truly amazing. I am humbled to be a part of this miracle. I called DH to read him the entry. He was equally moved. Hang in there, little pea!